Sharing Your Story and Writing New Chapters

I recently have been coming out of a fog that lasted probably almost 8 years. I sometimes call it “the grief fog” where you are in the middle between the past and the future due to the death of a loved one. The fog that I was living in became my story for most of these years. The death of my husband Mike at his young age of 36 when I was 33 became the story for which I defined my life. I was living in a story that prompted decisions that I made along the way. For example, I became a hospice social worker because I was trying to make sense of his death. I thought maybe that was the reason I experienced this loss-to help others going through the same thing. I got attached to my story either to replay all that occurred; tell it to justify why I was doing what I was doing; tell the story because I wanted to go back to when life was “perfect”; or NOT tell the story because I didn’t want people to think certain things about me or pity me. Let’s face it: my story kept me stuck. Stuck in his death. Stuck in what I no longer had. Stuck feeling like the best years of my life were over and the future was long, dull and bleak.

Lucky for me and my story, I went through this in conjunction with efforts in spiritual growth. Having grown up Catholic, I just couldn’t find in only that religion the answers to the bigger picture I was seeking. Having always appreciated the world’s religions and the threads of commonality among them, I became a student of more modern takes on life, spirituality, interconnection and the afterworld. I became a reader of many authors and spiritual leaders who write about self-actualization, spirituality, finding your purpose, mindful living and my connection to the greater universe. Wayne Dyer, Byron Katie, Deepak Chopra, Mastin Kipp, Brene Brown, Michael Beckwith, Iyanla Vanzant and so many others have books on my shelves or bookmarks on my Internet browser.

I love quotes because they often can capture what is sometimes a difficult overall concept to wrap the brain around. A lot of my favorite writers talk about how we tell our stories in their work. I decided for this blog post I would denote a few that have impacted me.

Dr. Brene Brown: “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”

Mastin Kipp: “A setback is not a reason to stop. Setbacks are powerful lessons that test your faith, grow your confidence and make you a stronger person. Learn the lesson and get back on track.”

Iyanla Vanzant: “When you stand and share your story in an empowering way your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.”

Dr. Wayne Dyer: “Change the way you see things and the things you see will change.”

Tim Storey: “A comeback isn’t a go back.”

A lot of people talk about stories and how we learn from our past and “write a new ending” to our story. I actually don’t see things that way. I like to look at our stories as ongoing chapters…"The Never Ending Story” if you will. I can look back to chapter 4 and peruse the story about a great marriage to a good man. I can fast forward to chapter 6 where I read about his terminal illness and death. I can go to chapter 9 and read about the heroine’s new artistic pursuits as she follows her heart and soul. And then I can keep writing my story! Maybe chapter 11 a new love enters the picture. Maybe chapter 12 has a new challenge this heroine has to face. But because life goes on, I won’t be the one who actually writes an ending even when the ending comes.

Consider these questions for yourself:

• Where in your life are you “stuck in your story?” Why might you be stuck? Is it because you want to go back and fix what happened in the past but fixing what already occurred is out of reach? Are you trying to make a change in your life but fear is keeping you attached to your story and making change is that much harder? 
• What are some of your favorite chapters in your story? What are some chapters that leave you feeling compassion toward the main character? What are some chapters you want to delete but that that button isn't functioning on your computer keyboard?
• In writing a new chapter what life will it take on? Is it a chapter on romance? A thriller? A tear-jerker? What "bridge" can you make between your past or current story to your new story?

Iyanla Vanzant’s quote above has influenced me in the way I see my own story. What does telling a story in an empowering way mean? It could mean that you own what happened, you tell it from the perspective of having learned from it and you give hope to others who may be going through similar stories of shame, grief or fear. For me, I realized my story is an important part of my newfound creatively focused life. My photography, for example, comes from the commitment I made to myself after Mike died to keep having adventures as he would want me to. The photos I take are from these adventures and show parts of life that maybe other people might miss. My little boxes, as another example, came from having been through my own “dark nights of the soul” and how positive inspirations have been one tool to get me through. 

Now that my fog is lifting, I see my story with new eyes and actually look forward to and am excited by the anticipation of the next chapter. Where can you unstick yourself from your story and see what opens up for your new chapter?

The Night Sky

From time to time, I believe in the soulful rejuvenation of time away. By yourself, with your family or friends, with your pet, or however it looks to you, I believe that getting away from the day-to-day helps foster creativity, connection, healing, inspiration, and rest.

I decided to take a few days at the spur of the moment. I had a credit at the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park to use by the end of their slow season. I was just itching for some time away, and the weather and driving conditions were as good as it would get in a mountain town in February. I said YES to my intuition and went. The time away was reviving. I struggle at times, as a single woman working on my own terms living with just my dog (not “just” my dog, but Rene the Grey), to justify “getting away” because I don’t have all the other life qualities that might make getting away that much more special-a spouse and kids, a M-F 8-5 job, etc. And then I remind myself that I am living my own life and not the lives of other people and I get myself in check.

However, I do suffer from (non-clinical) seasonal affective disorder-meaning, I have diagnosed myself that I am just in a crummy mood during the months of January and February. I don’t ski or snowboard so I don’t have that enjoyment outdoors in the winter, so beyond the daily walk in many layers I don’t do a whole lot in nature in the winter time.

I won’t go into all the details of my time away-I won’t go into detail about feeling the most “me” than I have felt in a while, or how I balanced work, play and rest, or how I managed to run one morning, finally, run again without wanting to give up-But the one thing I want to write about is the night sky.

I fell in love with the night sky only just a few years ago. When I was living in Montrose on 3 acres in the country, the night sky was my companion for almost 2 years. I would turn off the porch lights at night with a cup of tea (or glass of wine) and sit on the steps and just look up. I could see the stars, galaxies, meteors….I pictured family and friends on the other side of the slope under the same night sky. I felt interconnected to my loved ones far, and to the people I was meeting near in my new community. This year, in Estes, I excitedly waited for the night to fall. I hoped the night wouldn’t be a cloudy one. The night sky did not disappoint! The cabin I was staying in was secluded enough and there were almost no lights. I turned off the porch light and stood outside with my tea and just stared up. It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust and when they did….it was a constellation of stars. Not only crisp and clear but close, like I could reach out and touch them. I honestly saw a fabric of stars covering me and I felt safe, protected, loved, and totally and completely like myself. I became one with the sky and with it I knew…I AM EXACTLY WHERE I AM...WHERE I NEED TO BE. I AM IN THE RIGHT PLACE, AT THE RIGHT TIME. I couldn’t do justice of the night sky in a picture. So, I want to share with you some inspiring quotes that I hope will bring the inspiration of the night sky forward!

“Before we invented civilization our ancestors lived mainly in the open out under the sky. Before we devised artificial lights and atmospheric pollution and modern forms of nocturnal entertainment we watched the stars. There were practical calendar reasons of course but there was more to it than that. Even today the most jaded city dweller can be unexpectedly moved upon encountering a clear night sky studded with thousands of twinkling stars. When it happens to me after all these years it still takes my breath away.” - Carl Sagan-Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space 

“He was there alone with himself, collected, tranquil, adoring, comparing the serenity of his heart with the serenity of the skies, moved in the darkness by the visible splendors of the constellations, and the invisible splendor of God, opening his soul to the thoughts which fall from the Unknown. In such moments, offering up his heart at the hour when the flowers of night inhale their perfume, lighted like a lamp in the center of the starry night, expanding his soul in ecstasy in the midst of the universal radiance of creation, he could not himself perhaps have told what was passing in his own mind; he felt something depart from him, and something descend upon him, mysterious interchanges of the depths of the soul with the depths of the universe.”- Victor Hugo-Les Misérables

Valentine's Day

I used to say Valentine's Day was just another Hallmark holiday. I used to think it was meant for just lovers, or family members, maybe close friends…

But lately, my thoughts about Valentine's Day have changed. It is about remembering how love can move mountains; that even a smile and warm hello to a stranger can change the course of his/her day; that a knowing touch and listening ear can ease a tense situation; that loving rather than judging, fearing, loathing, or despising is better for our overall health and provides us with self-love. 

I came across three poems I want to share on this Valentine's Day that represent love. I hope you find them inspiring and that you are moved to share them with others, and walk in your days with a loving heart.

This first one I came upon online and I really like the message 

of loving all the little and hidden parts of someone

These last two are by my favorite poet Mary Oliver

Limitation as a Self-Care Practice

I came across the A Step Along the Way prayer by Archbishop Oscar Romero many years ago. It left an imprint on my heart and soul, and I have been pondering it quite a bit these days.

The prayer in its entirety can be found here but in essence Romero is saying that we as human beings have limitations. That we are the worker bees, not the "messiah's" or "master builders". In our own lives we can only do so much, that we accomplish only a fraction of what we are here to do. That we "plant the seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold a future promise.  We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities." 

I got to thinking about this prayer a lot lately considering what has been happening in the United States with a political regime change and some of the strife that is occurring around it. Lately I have finally unearthed myself from a fog that has included a sense of feeling overwhelmed. What political rallies should I attend? What senators should I write? What activist meetings should I go to? Am I doing enough? I became paralyzed by the thought that I wasn't doing enough. 

And then I remembered this prayer. And I started linking this prayer not only to understanding my own limitations but also remembering the importance of self-care and self-compassion.

Brene Brown also talks about this in her own way. In much of her work she writes about perfectionism, and I see the link between perfectionism, Archbishop Romero's prayer, and my own sense of feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed. Brown describes perfectionism in her book Daring Greatly:

• It is not the same thing as striving for excellence; it is a defensive move, so that if we look perfect we can minimize blame and judgment
• It is not self-improvement; it is about earning approval
• Perfectionism is correlated with anxiety, depression and life paralysis
• It is self-destructive and an addictive belief
• It keeps us from the practice of feeling vulnerable and having self-compassion

I will take it one step further and say perfectionism keeps us from practicing the self-care needed to refill our personal "give tanks" everyday. 

Once we start feeling that only we can be the ones to accomplish something, or change someone's mind, or make the change happen we are falling into the depths of perfectionist thinking. Once in those depths, we stop taking care of ourselves and we stop having self-compassion for our own limitations and burn ourselves out, making us no good to anyone.

So, I ask you…

• Where in your life are you feeling like you are the only one who can accomplish something? Is that really true? Are there others who can help?
• Where in your life are you letting perfectionism creep in? Is it at work? Is it in the social realm? Is it in your home life? What does it look like? What does it feel like?
• What self-care and self-compassion practices can you cultivate in order to take a little pressure off yourself? What brings you joy? What lets you forget about your worries for just a little while and really show up, be present in what you are experiencing?

For me, I know I need to set some limitations. Pick one social justice issue I am passionate about and get involved. Most importantly, continue my own self-care practices that help me really live in the present moment and not get mired in the "what if" syndrome. From there, I need to have a little faith that if we all do a little bit it will make an impact on the collective whole. And that still won't be enough, but it is a step along the way...

28 Days of Random Acts of Kindness

"I alone cannot change the world,

 but I can cast a stone across the waters 

that creates many ripples." -Mother Teresa

I am an Aquarius-born on February 11th- and last year was my 40th birthday. I had a party and asked everyone who came to write on a piece of paper one act of kindness I could do every day, rather than bring a gift. People brought so many easy and cute ideas and no two were the same. These are just a sampling:

I got to thinking about what to write about this week. So much is happening in the United States and globally, and much of it isn't what elevates us as humanity. Bans on refugees coming to the U.S., shootings at a mosque in Quebec, and mosques in Texas burning to the ground (cause yet to be determined, but still). Even our Facebook feeds aren't elevating us, and are causing us so much stress but we can't seem to unplug for fear of missing out on something big. 

I decided what we need right now is a little bit of kindness, so why not set up a 28 Random Acts of Kindness Challenge, during my birthday month? Starting today, February 1st, and continuing to the end of the month, do one small thing for someone else that is kind. Maybe you do it outright, or "behind the scenes" where no one knows; maybe you write about it on your own blog or Facebook page, or quietly in your own journal. If everyone did one act of kindness a day, imagine how elevated our communities may become so that love, not fear, drives us to be the species we are really meant to be: Abundant, community oriented, compassionate, kind, sustainable…

If you aren't sure where to begin, use the above ideas as a starting point. Or, visit this website here that lists ideas for the next 28 days:

Random Acts of Kindness

The website lists these ideas that are easy to do, don't cost money and could make a person's day…and then that person may make someone else's day…and so on…so see? A little bit of kindness can make a huge ripple effect!

• Give free hugs
• Let people over on the freeway
• See if your neighbor has enough (running to the store? See if your neighbor needs you to pick up something!)
• Hold the door for someone
• Cheer on someone who is starting something new (a diet, a new job, etc) with a supportive text, email or card in the mail
• Smile and say hello to people you don't know

And if you are feeling burned out by the state of the world or even the state of your Facebook feed, giving to others is a great way to replenish your spirit!

Maintaining Inner Peace in Times of Conflict

Has this happened to you? You are spending some time perusing Facebook. You are scrolling through your newsfeed from your various friends who all have their own opinions. You see a post about something you disagree with; you leave a comment. Someone else targets a comment toward you; your blood begins to boil, you get angry and leave an angrier comment back. You begin thinking to yourself, “How can this person even think this way?” You come across other posts you don’t agree with and pretty much you are in a fury of frustration, your physical body in a state of fight-or-flight and your emotional self wracked with self-righteous feelings that you are the right one in these posts and the other person just needs to see the light.

This happened to me recently, or a version of it anyway. Just starting to come down from an energizing and charged weekend participating in the Women’s March on Denver, I sat down excitedly to post my photos to Facebook. In the process of doing so, posts came through my newsfeed on the other side of the coin, condemning the march or with offensive meme’s toward people who participated in the march and policies that the march stood for. My anxiety increased, my heart beat faster, and I could feel the heat rising in my face. “How dare someone question the viability of this march! They are obviously wrong and I am right!” I proceeded to write a post to “All my FB friends who think I am whining about the election…” and continued to feel physically and emotionally charged up throughout the rest of the day.

We all have lost our cool when faced with other people’s differing opinions than our own. However, there is another way, and that way is to find inner peace. I know I went off the rails of the inner peace train when I started becoming self-righteous. In essence, self-righteousness is the idea that “I am right and you are wrong.” It negates the other person’s perspective, it leads the thinker to feelings of superiority, and it continues perpetuating the conflict that is occurring and feelings of anger and resentment. The Huffington Post, in its article about self-righteousness, writes about the irrational thinking that is behind it:

All-or-nothing thinking: When one sees things in black-and-white terms and has very limited vision. If something, someone, or some belief falls short of what this individual sees as perfect, he or she sees it as worthless or a total failure.

Over-generalizations: People who over generalize take a single negative incident and exaggerate it. These individuals have a lot of use for words like “always,” “never,” “all” and “no one,” extreme words that by themselves can create radical thinking.

Mental filters: This is when a person picks one or a few negative events and dwells on them to make them look much bigger, darkening his or her vision of reality. 

Discounting the positive: This is when the person rejects anything positive related to a situation, thinking that the positives “don’t really matter.”

Jumping to conclusions: This is when a person comes up with conclusions when there are no logical, scientific, or unbiased facts to support those conclusions.

“Should” statements: This is when a person tells herself that everyone and everything “should” be the way she thinks, functions and is comfortable with. People who make a lot of personal “should” statements usually experience a lot of negative emotions like guilt and frustration, or even anxiety. Should statements that are directed at other people, or at the world in general, lead to anger and frustration (e.g., “He shouldn’t think like this”).

Maintaining inner peace, however, is one way to help yourself through times of conflict, where you just want the other person to agree with you and all will be well. Pema Chodran describes inner peace simply and beautifully:

Some ways you can maintain your inner peace during any type of conflict include:

• Step away from the screen! If you are in front of your social media and start feeling your blood heat up, get up, go outside, pet your dog or cat, have a snack, drink a glass of water…then come back to it later and see how you feel.
• Engage in diaphragmatic breathing: Hold one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly and make your belly soft, like a bowl full of jelly. Feel your inward breath pass through your chest and into your belly. Exhale from your belly and feel it pass through your chest. Do this a few times while sitting at your computer, before that meeting where you might have to defend yourself or a decision you made, or any other time where conflict might arise.
• Find an outlet that is completely fun where opinions don’t matter. There is a phone puzzle game I play called Ruzzle. Some of my opponents are my friends and others are people I don’t know; I keep the interaction to the puzzle only and take frustrations out by trying to beat their scores each time!
• Get outside. Touch nature. Look at the sky and the stars. Watch a sunrise and sunset. Ground yourself back to the idea that we are all interconnected on this planet and only here for a very short time.

Further, to keep your self-righteousness in check…

• Invite one person from a different perspective to coffee to discuss one issue you don’t see eye to eye on. Set some rules, share your thoughts, and see if you can list what you do agree on rather than don’t.
• Pick up a book or read an article about issues from the perspective of the other side.
• Send a card to that FB friend or family member who doesn’t see things the way you do that you still appreciate them even though you don’t always agree.

The beauty about life is…we can try to do it differently the next time!

Hope in Times of Uncertainty and Change

On a large scale, our nation (impacting the global community) is on the edge of transition and change, with the Obama Administration winding down and the Trump Administration revving up. I admit that I have gotten teary eyed thinking about the Obama family transition out of the White House. And also a little teary when Mr. President gave Joe Biden the Presidential Medal of Freedom. No matter the side of the aisle on which you sit or stand, there are compelling emotions when we see change and transitions happening on this large of a scale.

With change and transition, there is a level of uncertainty and fear. Often, this uncertainty and fear then comes out of us in ways that are not becoming to ourselves or our nation as a whole. People have lost friendships over this upcoming transition. Hate speech and hate crimes are reported more and more in the media. People are dismissive of each other and don't listen to what others, especially those on the other side of the aisle, have to say. When acting out of fear, there is a tendency to hide the fear under a blanket of anger to hide the real feelings that fear can bring up, such as anxiety or sadness.

There is another way we can gracefully face uncertain times of change and transition. That way is having hope. No matter who you voted for, most everyone during this time has hope for what is next for this country and the world.

What exactly is hope? 

• The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines hope as: 1) to cherish a desire with anticipation :  to want something to happen or be true 2) to desire with expectation of obtainment or fulfillment. 
• According to Psychology Today,"Hope is not a brand new concept in psychology. In 1991, the eminent positive psychologist Charles R. Snyder and his colleagues came up with Hope Theory. According to their theory, hope consists of agency and pathways.  The person who has hope has the will and determination that goals will be achieved, and a set of different strategies at their disposal to reach their goals. Put simply: hope involves the will to get there, and different ways to get there"(www.psychologytoday.com).
• Christianity also teaches us that hope is one of the three theological virtues: Faith, Hope and Love.
• Finally, one of my favorites is from Emily Dickinson: 

The many definitions of hope can help us approach times of transition and change, especially when these times feel uncertain, or the change happens against your desires. Maybe you are facing a transition that is unwelcome: a job loss, a divorce, a death loss, financial disruption…where in this unwelcome transition can you find hope? Likewise, if the change is welcome and you have positive anticipation for what is next, what hopes do you have for this transition to have a successful outcome?

Even in the transition of power happening in this country this week, people from all sides of the aisle can find hope in that transition. You might hope your own life will improve by the promises of the President-elect. You might hope to face the policies proposed by this administration by protesting, engaging in activism and community organizing to make alternative change happen. However hope looks to you, it is the one thread we all have in common. Perhaps it may lead us to open up and listen to one another rather than dismiss each other out of fear and anger.

That which no longer serves you

As I was thinking about welcoming in a New Year and symbolically a New Start, I framed my desires for 2017 around the question of "What is no longer serving me?" The answer that came to me as I meditated on it was that having a television with cable TV no longer was serving me. Once I fully let that sink in, and accepted what it meant to get rid of TV, I took the plunge and cancelled my Comcast TV account effective this Friday. Deep breath in…deep breath out. (Side note: I am, however, keeping my Netflix streaming plan for those dire moments when I just need some couch time and a favorite show, because I know my boundaries and that indeed show watching down time can be a good stress reliever).

Let me backtrack a bit and tell you why TV is no longer serving me. Those who know me well know I am a champion "hunkering in" person. I could win awards for the amount of time I spend alone, at home, and content to do so. I have created a number of rituals around being a "nester" that bring me comfort and help me to not feel lonely but rather as though I am "feeding my soul." Curling up on the couch, greyhound nearby, a good home cooked meal in front of me, and identifying a number of TV shows or movies I enjoy has been one of those rituals. However, as 2017 approached I realized I wanted to do things a little differently. Step outside the nest a little more. Push my boundaries, and live a little more. I realized that I won't meet new people sitting inside my quaint and cozy condo; that the only people I meet are characters on the big screen. That I won't see new art, or take in great theater, or take an evening walk enjoying the sunset, or even sit at a coffee shop with a book or a writing project and take in the energy of the people around me. 

My space, as well, is no longer serving my needs as I work at home and need ample creative space to make art, write, and work. Part of this reason is because my condo is very small and I don't have an extra bedroom to make into an office; but the other part is because an entire wall is dedicated to the TV. Getting rid of my TV will allow me to finally get the space balance I need in my condo to live, work, and entertain.

The question "What is no longer serving you?" isn't cut and dry. It isn't about "giving things up" necessarily; it is definitely not about bringing lack and scarcity into your life. It is about…

• What is keeping you from living the life you want to live? 
• What is keeping you from achieving the goals you have for yourself? 
• What are the roadblocks to your dreams/desires? 

Maybe you hit the snooze button many times in the morning, which makes you late getting off to work, so you can't get that workout in you want to do in order to get more fit. Hitting the snooze button no longer is serving you; but then maybe going bed so late or drinking coffee late into the afternoon is no longer serving you as well because it keeps you groggy and tired in the morning. The question "What is no longer serving you?" isn't about one thing that you need to stop in order to reach a goal; rather, it is a lifestyle question that helps you frame how you want to live your life and how to achieve your life's goals, hopes, and dreams.

As we inch our way through the first month of this year, take some time to reflect on what is no longer serving you. Ask yourself these questions:

1. What do I want more of in my life?
2. What is no longer serving me? What is getting in the way of what I want for my life?
3. How can I let go of what no longer serves me? How can I embrace the changes I want to make?
4. How can I live enough outside of my comfort zone that I will be more courageous, brave, and energized about life this time next year?

Even though the question "What is no longer serving you?" can lead to a positive lifestyle shift, baby steps are often how to get there. It doesn't have to be as big as getting rid of your TV; maybe it is as small as not hitting the snooze button…which may lead to your workout…which may give you more energy…which may make you excited to do it all again the next day. However what you decide to change looks, take note of the positive impacts it has on your life. 

Meaningful New Year's Resolutions

We are coming out of the darkest month, winter solstice behind us and more light entering in our days. As 2017 approaches we look toward it with hope, maybe with a little trepidation, and with new eyes for the year's goals.

Where were you this time last year? I was working as a hospice social worker, feeling connection and love to my patients but disconnected from the logistics of the job. I knew my calling was being half fulfilled, walking with people in the scariest and hardest part of life, but the other half, the stress…the on-call hours, the daily "crisis" mode I felt like I was in...I wasn't satisfied with. As much as I tried all the self-care tools and tips I knew of, I started feeling that something was wrong that I had to work so hard to undo the stress I experienced 50plus hours a week. A good friend and I would take long walks in our neighborhood and talk about our hopes and dreams for 2016. Not only was this the year that I felt like I wanted professional change, it was the year of my 40th birthday. I wanted my 40th year to be special, marked by meaningful change and a purpose-filled existence.

2016 was a year where I manifested many things that I set intentions upon that New Year's. I managed to leave the stress of my job behind by leaving my job and starting Soulful Transitions. I managed to unearth the creative and artistic soul that lie dormant in me for decades. I managed to put together walking with people in tough times with artistic expression, and seeing positivity unfold. As I recently dismantled the vision board I had created for myself in 2016 I realized I reached all the professional goals I had set for myself in 2016.

Personal goals, however, were another matter, and these are set forth on my vision board for 2017. The hope for new relationships to unfold, the desire for amping up my already healthy lifestyle into one that incorporates more movement, more healthy food, more reflective and meditative time for myself. My vision board is not focused this time on my work, as I have another place where I now keep my intentions for Soulful Transitions to grow. My personal life is what needs a little fine tuning this 41st year of my life.

What kind of New Year's goal setter are you? Sometimes people sleep walk into New Year's and the goals tend to be the same…lose weight, watch less TV, spend more time with loved ones…but when New Year's goals become rote and lose impact on January 2nd maybe it is time to take a different approach. We have a few days before the countdown to 2017, so find some time in your busy day to sit down, take out some paper and a pen, and consider these ideas for meaningful New Year's Resolutions:

• Where in your life do you want to put more attention? Not "Should" put more attention, but "Want To." Where in your life do you feel satisfied? 
• What words would you use to describe your life now? What words would you like to use to describe your life moving forward?
• Reflecting on the Bill Keane quote “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery…today is a gift, which is why it is called the present” what can you work toward letting go from the past, what hopes/anxieties do you have for the future, and how can you remain in the present moment to keep grounded? Remember, the past is over and done with and there isn't much you can do to change the events, the future hasn't even occurred, so what can you do to remain in the present moment?
• Spiritual leader Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith describes integrity in this way: "Integrity is about being integrated with the spiritual values of the Universe. It is also about being happy, because happiness and joy means that you are coming into integrity with your soul." When you consider living a life of integrity, what does that mean to you? Is it an alignment of your physical, spiritual, emotional, professional, mental, and relational aspects? How can you bring these parts of you into alignment?
• Consider one to three things you want to change in your life. If you were to look back this time next year and feel satisfied, what would need to happen this year to get you there?

After reflecting on these questions, take some time this week to gather together items for a vision board. Cut out quotes and pictures from magazines that are aligned with the intentions and goals you have for the New Year. Find photos you love, quotes from Internet sources that inspire you to integrate all the aspects of your life. When you have your items together, take some time before January 1st to post them to a cork board, foam board, or just a piece of paper. Hang it where you can see it, and throughout the year add to it and subtract from it when you either feel inspired by something or no longer inspired by something. Keep it up all year and this time next year you can reflect on where you are this time next year and what you may want to consider for 2018.

Interested in gathering some friends or colleagues together for a vision board workshop in January to create intentions for the New Year? Contact me and I can come to your home or workplace for a small fee toward materials and instruction.

End of year report and looking to the future

Please note: Wednesday Words blog posts will be on a holiday until we approach the New Year. Soulful Transitions wishes you all a holiday season filled with light, love, reflection, and heartfelt time with family/friends. If you find the holidays stressful or difficult, feel free to read my past blog posts on getting through tough times:

Self Care in Times of Transition

Tips to Keep your "Give" Tank Full

Know that there are many resources out there for you during the holidays if you are also dealing with grief and loss. An excellent resource can be found here:

http://grief.com/grief-the-holidays/

We are inching toward 2017 and I thought today would be the day to reflect on where Soulful Transitions has been since its inception in August of 2016 and where it hopes to go! Since August, Soulful Transitions…

• Became an LLC, got an employer ID number, and opened a bank account
• Got covered by business and professional liability insurance
• Renewed Registered Psychotherapist status with the Dept of Regulatory Agencies
• Established a social media presence with a blog site and a Facebook page
• Hosted a self-care workshop
• Attended networking events
• Maintained membership in the Grief Network Alliance
• Posted weekly on the blog about getting through times of transition and change
• Attended seven arts and crafts markets with little gifts from the heART
• Was accepted into Bella Luna Gifts and Gallery for "Little Boxes…"
• Became a member of People House collective community

What does the future hold for Soulful Transitions?

• Hold quarterly workshops on self-care
• Hold "heart of service" workshops at People House (donation only workshops that promote self-care, gratitude and giving back to others)
• Re-brand the creative side of Soulful Transitions that houses the "Little Boxes…" and other gifts from the heART (embellished photos, collage work)
• Look into non-profit status to bring "Little Boxes" and self-care workshops to marginalized populations
• Launch "A Little Box Of Memories" for those looking for a little box to keep memories of departed loved ones
• Create 7 day reminder "Self-Care Cards" and launch those into retail stores
• Get "Little Boxes…" into at least five gift retailers
• Continue to be available for one-on-one sessions for anyone looking to incorporate creativity with dealing with life's transitions
• Move from the blog site to create and implement a website
• Continue presence at arts and crafts markets; pursue farmer's markets for the summer months
• Research studio space that could be used for workshops, Soulful Transitions' workspace, and also could hold pop-up craft shows
• Co-create a networking group with other women entrepreneurs

I look forward to seeing what 2017 will bring! Thank you for joining me as I continue on this journey!

Love and Light,

Melanie

Wrapping up the Gratitude Challenge

My 30 Day Gratitude Challenge is wrapping up and I have spent time reflecting on how to ensure a grateful heart every day. I pulled out an old gratitude journal-the one Sarah Ban Breathnach had published years ago-and will keep it by my bed to continue writing down my gratitudes each day. The one extra step…the step of honoring that gratitude with action...is what I truly hope to take with me as a daily ritual. Not only reflecting on my gratitude but also doing the work of showing it has allowed the gratitude to make an imprint on my heart and soul.

• Thursday, Nov 24th: Grateful for Thanksgiving! I have so much gratitude for this day to be with family. To honor this day, I treated my family to a Thanksgiving feast, made my home a "no-political" zone so we could enjoy each other, and also got to spend some time with my dear neighbor/friend and her family.
• Friday, Nov 25th: Grateful for being able to spend time outdoors! To honor it, on this beautiful day, I took Rene for a long walk at a local park.
• Saturday, Nov 26th: Grateful for patience! I honored my patience by using mindfulness and deep breathing when faced with a large crowd and small spaces at a local holiday market.
• Sunday, Nov 27th: Grateful for light! At today's Mile Hi Church service, Rev. Shannon gave a talk on how light always shines in times of darkness. To honor it, I added a few more little strings of lights in my home and had those small lights shining in the evening.
• Monday, Nov 28th: Grateful for discipline! To honor it, I steered myself back toward my daily routine after the detour of the holidays.
• Tuesday, Nov 29th: Grateful for sleep! I got an entire nights rest and woke up naturally at 5:30am. To honor it I am using my energy to get things accomplished this morning rather than wait until later.
• Wednesday, Nov 30th: Grateful for my health! To honor it today, I am doing a one day cleanse. Lots of warm water with ginger, lemon and small vegetarian meals throughout the day. Plus, some stretching and a good walk with Rene!

As we hover this day over the start of a new month, one of the darkest months of the year, I wish you experiences of gratitude that can be the beacon of light during the darkness. 

Gratitude Challenge Week Three

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, 2016. I have continued on my gratitude journey, and am discovering that thankfulness enters into my heart every day in some way. I am especially thankful for this holiday, where time slows a bit and allows family and friends to savor each other.

• Thursday, Nov 17th: Grateful that Rene enjoys other dogs! I honored her easy going personality by having her good friend Ava over for the day. I can tell she likes the company.
• Friday, Nov 18th: Grateful for feeling good, healthy and energized! I honored this day by using my energy to get things done, to spend with Rene, and to have good friends over for dinner.
• Saturday, Nov 19th: Grateful for serendipity! To honor it, while working a craft show, I spent time with new friends, ran into a seasoned friend and met her husband for the first time, and networked with other women entrepreneurs.
• Sunday, Nov 20th: Grateful for tapping into spontaneity, wonder and awe! To honor it, a friend and I were spontaneous, treated ourselves to brunch at Rioja and spent some time on Larimer Square, enjoying the feeling of the holiday season ramping up.
• Monday, Nov 21st: Grateful for my courage! To honor it, I spoke up at my HOA board meeting and brought up issues that others may have deemed unimportant or uncomfortable to discuss.
• Tuesday, Nov 22nd: Grateful for Facebook! To honor it, I had brunch with a dear "g-old" friend who I haven't seen in years and we reconnected with this social media technology. Our reunion held no awkward moments, rather we just picked up right where we left off!
• Wednesday, Nov 23rd: Grateful to be off today! To honor it, I will make the most of the day, getting ready to host my family tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and I wish it a day of peace, love, relaxation, good food, friends, family, and some pie!

Gratitude Challenge Week Two

My 30 Day Gratitude Challenge continues. I am finding the ritual of waking up and thinking about what to be grateful for that day, as well as how to honor it, has been an inspiring way to greet the day!

• Thursday, Nov 10th: Grateful for my friends! To honor them, I called two friends who I hadn't spoken to in a while. I sent cards to four friends I have known since grade school/high school acknowledging my gratitude for their life long friendship.
• Friday, Nov 11th: Grateful for active duty and veteran military service! Grateful for my freedom. To honor them/my freedom I posted a thank you on Facebook and acknowledged all the vets I have served as a hospice social worker.
• Saturday, Nov 12th: Grateful for Soulful Transitions' customers! To honor them, at the Cook Park Artisan Market I threw in free earrings and cards for purchases to acknowledge my appreciation.
• Sunday, Nov 13th: Grateful for my spiritual path! To honor it, I went to Mile Hi Church to engage in spiritual self-care.
• Monday, Nov 14th: Grateful that I enjoy cooking! To me, homemade meals have been so healing and comforting during difficult times. To honor cooking, I went grocery shopping and made turkey tacos for dinner.
• Tuesday, Nov 15th: Grateful for the gallery and store Bella Luna and all the people I have met through there! To honor it, I put a gratitude out on Facebook, thanking a neighbor and friend for introducing me to the owner of Bella Luna.
• Wednesday, November 16th: Grateful for the beautiful weather of this fall! To honor it I took Rene on a longer than usual walk in a local park. I took off my headphones for a bit, enjoyed the distant moon over the silhouette of the mountains.