We all face feeling depleted from time to time. If you are like me, you don't always realize it until you have about an eighth of a tank of "give" to give. Before you let your "give" tank get so empty that you don't have the energy to push it to the station to "filler up" again, here are 10 very accessible things you can do when your tank is low, or practice every day so your tank can stay full.
- Who is taking care of you? You are taking care of your kids, your partner, your parents, your neighbors, your friends, your work associates, your church members, your pets…you are making sure everyone is okay. But who is making sure you are doing okay? Put yourself on the top of your "taking care of" list. Once you take care of you, then you can take care of everyone else.
- Take a technology break. When you are feeling depleted, it is okay to step away from the computer, from your Facebook account, from your cell phone and from other technology. While social media is a wonderful way to connect to your friends, family and community, often times we tell ourselves that playing on Facebook is our "me" time, but in reality it is more passive bombardment of what everyone else is doing, needing support over or wanting accolades for. It can become one more thing we feel like we have to do, rather than enjoy doing. When you are feeling fatigued, choose to turn off the computer and actively spend that time feeding your soul, however that looks: time with your loved ones, taking a nice walk, enjoying a hot cup of tea, reading or doing anything else that may reconnect you to yourself, rather than make you feel like you have to reply to that email, comment on that friend's post or try to keep up with everyone else's online status.
- Reconnect with nature. There is no better way to feel grounded than by being in nature. Whether it means you spend time in your own garden, walk at a local park or take a day trip someplace, nature is always there for us to bring us back to our true selves.
- It is okay to not answer the phone. Okay, yes, sometimes we need to answer that very important call from the boss, or a family member may need us for something urgent. But not every call needs to be answered. Record for yourself a good voicemail message, and set boundaries around calls back, like "I will return your call within 24 hours." That way, you can spend more peaceful time doing the grocery shopping, or watching a child's sporting event or spending time with friends over coffee.
- Do something you don't normally do. Mix up what you do every day. Sure, there is comfort in routine, but sometimes routine can start making you feel like you have forgotten how to take care of you. Drive a different route to work, one that is more scenic than the normal route you take. Go to a mom and pop coffee shop rather than a Starbucks. Stop at the grocery store on your way home and buy yourself some flowers. Just meandering away from your routine in small ways can lead you to feeling refreshed and seeing things with new eyes.
- Make a list of "should do's" and "want to do's" and see if they are the same. I admit it, I am a certified people-pleaser and many people out there, especially women, tend to be, too. Although I have realized this and have worked on it through the years, there are times where that people-pleasing desire comes to the surface and I say "yes" to everything that comes my way. Instead of saying "yes", how about say, "I will let you know" and then sit with that. Does it feel like something you are telling yourself you "should do"? Or are you really wanting to go to that dinner, meeting or other event? If you feel like you "should go", often that is your soul telling you it isn't something that will bring you joy; rather, it becomes one more obligation. Sure, you can't always get out of those "should do" events, but if you take some time to sit with what is presented, then you can certainly pare down what you commit your time to so you can spend more time taking care of you.
- Find that special treat. Everyone has something that they consider to be a special treat. What is it for you? For me, it is salted caramel…anything…but ice cream usually does the trick. I always make sure to have some in my freezer, not to eat the entire carton of course, but for those times I need a little pick me up. I am not promoting unhealthy comfort eating, or any sort of excessive dependency on food and other vices, of course, but after a long day I often think "I can't wait to have some ice cream and read the book I started and am enjoying." What is your treat? Make it something you can look forward to, almost like a reward for a job well done, at the end of a long day or week.
- Have weekday/weekend rituals. Having specific rituals during the week, and different ones on the weekend, can help you feel like you are doing something special for yourself. I have a friend who unapologetically goes to yoga on the weekends. She goes every weekend and rarely skips it to, say, meet for breakfast or sleep in, and it is how she puts herself at the top of her list. Maybe you only get the newspaper on Sundays so you can ease in the day slowly, drink coffee, and enjoy the paper. Maybe during the week you take an early morning walk, but on the weekend you like to get out and hike instead. Think about where you can mix up your weekend and weekday rituals so you feel like you are treating yourself during your down time.
- Tackle one "must do" early on. I admit there are two household chores I can't stand doing: laundry and changing my sheets. I can easily throw the laundry in the washer and dryer, but it is the folding and hanging that gets on my nerves. Likewise, taking the bed apart, and then putting it all back together is something that irritates me, even though I love the smell and feel of freshly washed sheets. I used to wait until the end of the week, or even the weekend, to do these chores, which made me want to do them even less. By changing it up, and doing both early in the week, I get the household jobs done early on so that I can have more time with family and friends, or just on my own, during the weekend. What chores can you fit in at different times of the week so that you have more time for yourself and your loved ones during your days off?
- Delegate. I know the people-pleaser in me often takes on more than I want to handle. Delegating tasks, whether it be household tasks you split with your partner or children, or tasks you face in your professional or volunteer life, allows you to disperse some of the responsibility so things don't just sit on your shoulders.
I hope you find these ten tips are easy to incorporate into your everyday life and can create new patterns of keeping your "give" tank full! Feel free to email me, post on the Facebook page or comment below on what small things you do everyday to keep your tank full.
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