The concept of
self-care became important to me as I was beginning to unpack the emotional
suitcase my husband’s death left behind. Having been a primary caregiver for
the last 9 months of his life, as well as attempting to work full-time, still be a wife, a
friend, a daughter, a sister, a pet owner, a home owner, etc. I was left drained
by stress, burnout, exhaustion, sadness, and fear. I found myself at any little
sign of stress or change unable to keep it together or cope. I embarked on my
discovery of what might bring me peace, comfort and joy as well as the ability
to cope with the unexpected twists and turns the road of life includes. At the
time it meant leaving my career in higher education to take some time off,
engage in a yoga and walking practice, travel a little, cook good meals and eat
well, and attend many retreats and workshops. But life had to get moving again,
and I find myself still in a continuing practice of discovering what brings me
joy, contentment, love, and coping with any difficulties that may come my way.
Self-care means
many things to many people. It can come in all sorts of different forms
depending on your own life. It can be as simple as taking a hot bath after a
long day, choosing to take 30 minutes to sit and enjoy a lunch break at work
instead of eating at your desk (or not eating at all), or as in-depth as
setting boundaries and saying “no” when it can be difficult to do that.
Self-care can be a daily act or ritual, or it can be a lifestyle choice.
On Christmas
Eve, my friend Meg and I were talking about those items on our proverbial
plates of life-family, work, paying the bills, etc-and what we do to dis-engage
from the noise of life to recenter ourselves-mind, body, and soul. She
introduced me to the Danish concept of “hygge” which I have found to be an
elevated way of living a life of self-care. To best describe “hygge” (I think
pronounced hue-guh but don’t quote me on that!) in one sentence:
I did a little
research, and much of the tradition comes from those long Scandinavian cold
nights where families spent time cozied up by the fire, telling stories and
being together. It is a way for people to break up the cold, dark and often
boredom found in such long days and nights-anything from a hot cup of coffee,
to lighting candles or a fire, or being wrapped in warm blankets while
reading a good book. But, hygge isn’t a winter only activity-it is found in all
seasons: Sharing a meal with friends, having a picnic, running through
sprinklers, sinking bare feet into grass, or feeling ocean waves cover your
feet as they sink into sand. It’s wearing clothing you like, engaging in small
rituals to make the day enjoyable, and celebrates community and being with
family and friends, as well as singular little joys.
This winter, I
am committing myself to a little hygge, everyday. I am slowing down, letting go
of feeling like I should be doing something or need to be doing something. I am
taking hot baths while listening to a good audiobook in the background; I am
lighting candles every night; I am buying myself flowers and wearing my cozy
slippers; I am stargazing wrapped in blankets with a hot drink on my balcony; I
am bringing a travel mug of coffee or tea on my walks with Rene; I am re-defining
what quality time means with family and friends. I am also learning a bit of
the hygge life from Rene, who seems to have this concept perfected!
Living a “Hygge Life” doesn’t mean that it is
one more thing to have to add to your already overflowing plate. It isn’t just
one more thing you “should do”. Hyggehouse.com explains it for the Danes as: “By creating simple rituals without
effort the Danes see both the domestic and personal life as an art form and not
everyday drudgery to get away from. They incorporate hygge into their daily
life so it becomes a natural extension rather than a forced and stressful
event. So whether it’s making coffee a verb by creating a ritual of making it
every morning to a cozy evening in with friends where you’re just enjoying each
others company to the simple act of lighting a candle with every meal, hygge is
just about being aware of a good moment.” So, however
you decide to incorporate a little hygge into your life I hope it brings you
coziness, comfort and joy! (Side note:
Critics have said that hygge can be seen as a white, middle or upper class
concept. For the sake of this writing, I am taking the perspective that
everyone can incorporate a tiny bit of hygge into their day to day routines.
However, I know that it is easier for people who have privilege or means to do that
versus people who do not).
