Savoring the in-between

During times of transition, we often feel we are moving from one thing next in a linear way. Like, buying a home after renting, or moving into a higher level position at work, or even in grief...having to "move on" after the death of a loved one.

But is it possible to be in transition and be attached to things not in a linear but in a messy kind of way?

I say yes!

This weekend I am in Denver to finally pack all my things up from my condo and rent it out. It has taken me over a year to decide this because 1) I didn't want to make an irrational decision before I knew I liked my Western Slope life; 2) I loved coming back for long weekends and staying in my condo; and 3) I didn't know if I wanted to rent or buy. After much thought and conversations with friends and family, I decided to rent it out for some extra income and also so that I don't have to give it up...just yet. And my teariness I have felt on and off when I look around my condo tells me I have made the right decision, that I still love it just enough to not say goodbye to it for good. And I don't know quite yet what I will be saying hello to, either. Buying a home on the Western Slope? Continuing renting and looking toward the future? Someday making my New Mexico dream come true?

So here I sit in two worlds. The first is the city world, where there are so many people, so much to do, and so much opportunity. It is the world I grew up in, the world I know in and out. The second is the rural world, where there is a slower pace of life, not as many people or job opportunities but ample opportunities to slow down, savor the hiking and scenic drives and flavors of a rural lifestyle. I have to say...I love them both! 

During times of transition and change, it is okay to be "in-between." You don't always have to make concrete decisions, you can slowly make your way through change while savoring all those parts of life you really love. That is my plan, anyway!

Making Connections

The town of Delta, CO can sometimes be a little rough and a little lonely. To the passer by, it may look like one of those cute and charming Colorado small towns. But it has the same problems many of those small towns have-poverty, drug use, neglected and abused children (and animals). Don't get me wrong...I like "The Underdog" and so enjoy living in this part of Colorado. And, despite its problems, Delta is made up of some of the biggest hearted people I know.

Connections are an important part of any living situation. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, making connections in life is often how we get through, how we persevere and how we deal with change and transition. I want to share this story of connection recently:

Rene and I were at the local park near the middle school late one afternoon. School was on break and four "tweenagers" (3 girls and a boy) were hanging out at the park. All of them were a little grubby, or a little goth, or a little grungy but they squealed like children when they saw Rene. Rene, mind you, is a bit of an anomaly in our neck of the woods. Delta virtually has no greyhounds, Montrose and Grand Junction have a few. Top that with her red fawn coloring and she looks a lot like a little deer.

We walked by and they gasped, "She is so beautiful! Can we pet her?" I replied that she is shy and so we would see how she would respond. They came toward her and she backed away. The kids then brainstormed, "what if we all sit down?" so they sat in a half circle with their hands reaching toward her. She was still a little shy but would move toward them, then back away. I had some treats so I gave each willing hand some, and Rene made her way around the group, eating treats and getting pets and praise. When it was time to go, they all said they will look for us again at the park. 

Some Delta young people can seem a little rough around the edges sometimes, and maybe they are. Maybe they have been written off by the adults in their lives, or neglected, or ignored, or yelled at. Maybe their parents have split, or one is dead, or another is addicted to something or another. But it made my day knowing that these kids, these rough around the edges but sweet heart kids, had a little "Rene Therapy" that made their day.

Little reminders to take a moment and be kind to each are life's way of nudging us forward, allowing our hearts to open to others. And then maybe their hearts will open to others. And maybe others will open their hearts to us. It's one big circle of connection.

Paths

I recently took Rene on a walk at Surface Creek Trail just outside of Cedaredge. I love this trail...it is an easy meander with a creek on one side and on the other a "Story Walk" where the library features a children's book throughout the walk.

On our recent stroll I was struck by the creek and the water. The paths the water has to take to run downstream. Where it might get stuck in the ice, snow or have to move around the rocks and where it might flow freely. It got me thinking about my own path. Where do I feel free to move on ahead? Where might I get stuck? Where might I have to navigate a new path around an obstacle? And considering the force flow of the water...don't I move on ahead regardless?

Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019!

2019: A Year of Personal Transformation

It is hard to believe today is the first day of 2019. I can't recall where the time went! Maybe it was in all the physical movement I had...moving from Denver to Delta, from one home to another, moving along many miles in a car, moving along with Rene on scenic walks. Yes, for me 2018 was a year on the move! 

I am looking forward to what 2019 will bring. Now that I have shaken off inertia and have begun embarking on the art of movement, I believe 2019 will be a more personal transformation year. Time to be a little more authentic, honest, and less fearful; time to stop taking things so seriously; time to finally sink in and enjoy life, something that has been just out of my grasp for a number of years now. Time to start to sink into my own skin, sink into a new way of living and enjoy the unexpected!

2018 Year in Review!

I ended 2017 with a Lady Gaga concert with my dear friend Mary at The Pepsi Center

In March 2018 I moved to Delta, CO to work as a Bereavement Coordinator for the local hospice. It was a job I coveted for a long time one I continue to love. This was from Mary, with instructions to open when I moved into my Delta home. What a sweet message to begin my journey!

 I "surprised" Mom with a visit when the boys were in Arizona in the Spring!

My first little rental, the "Main Street House" 

And then my second little rental, my "tiny home"

 I really got into the spirit of creating this year!

I made some new friends and played bingo at my first official "Bingo Hall" 

Rene and I took lots of scenic drives and local adventures

I went "pickin' at the Pea"

 And had visitors!

  I marked the Taos High Road Art Tour off my bucket list

 And ended the year with family, friends, good food, great memories and a community Christmas dinner

My best to you and yours at the beginning of this new year and I hope 2019 brings you all good things! And if there are challenges, may this be the year you can persevere, have resiliency and make it through.

Love, Mel

Going into the Forest of the Soul

I made a decision recently to go off Facebook. Not just take a hiatus or a snooze from it but to delete my account and not make it a part of my everyday life. I have been one full day away from it and while I miss some of the connections most of them I realized were frivolous and kept me away from the work of my heart and soul. 

I found myself waking up in the morning and over coffee, instead of writing in my journal or listening to meditation music, I would pour through my Facebook account. Over time, many posts became shares of meme's instead of people's own thoughts or photos. Less actual photos, more images that I would end up seeing over and over again because people seemed to share the same thing. I felt like I needed to keep up in so many ways, but then I would see people in person (like work associates) and the false hood of an actual friendship would be there as we exchange our daily pleasantries but we all went our own ways for our work. 

After a while, the thin veil of friendship on Facebook becomes exposed and a false sense of friendship security shows up. Not in any malicious way...but I found that I would constantly be putting out there my happy and positive side, and couldn't express that shadow side that true friends are privy too. Not that everyone needs to know about one's shadow sides; however, isn't one of the true gifts of living to integrate your external and internal worlds where you show up how you are? I think so. So in my Facebook free life, my intention is to spend the time I would be checking it writing letters to friends, sending thoughtful texts, making a phone call to someone I hadn't spoken to in a while, sitting quietly, writing, and working on my own creative endeavors. I decided to keep Instagram because photography is one of my most great loves, and I like that I can create a beautiful portfolio of my favorite photos. I also realized I could spend any time on my work breaks I might spend checking Facebook maybe writing in my Blog, which I don't do quite as often as I would like. I love my Blog for what it brings me, the ability to write and post pictures and just be creative. I am happy to dive back into this venue again.

I was reminded recently of the beautiful work Desiderata by Max Ehrmann and it started to get me thinking more and more about going into the forest of my soul and getting lost in there, finding what truly makes me, well, me...who I am at my core and what I want to bring into this world. And so I plan to "Go Placidly Among the Noise and Haste and Remember What Peace There May Be in Silence".

A Change of Scenery Can Do a Soul Good

A few weeks ago I went to Taos, NM for a little vacation. I hadn't gifted myself true time away for a long time, not including my weekend trips to Denver and other little overnights. I got an Air BNB and for the cost of a long weekend at a hotel I stayed in a great little house with a yard for the entire week! It was so nice to have a home base, to unpack and settle in for a few days. It was also nice to have a house where Rene could just stay and hang out when I had something to get to that was not necessarily dog friendly.

Much of my time there was just snapping photos. One of my favorite things to do is just that...wherever I go on vacation I always have camera in hand. I love taking photos in New Mexico because the whole state feels like such a rich tapestry of colors, textures, earth, culture, lace, adobe, blues and reds and yellows....


For this post I wanted to share a few photos with you. My time away was refreshing and while always hard to come back from vacation I had a new sense of gusto for life. What does your soul need to revitalize it? It doesn't always need to be a week out of town. When I come back from vacation I always think about what made the trip so enjoyable and consider ways to bring those joys into my everyday life. Coming back from Taos for me it was to dress with a little more care and flair, to create more art, and to get myself out and about seeking little gems to photograph no matter where I am!