The Night Sky

From time to time, I believe in the soulful rejuvenation of time away. By yourself, with your family or friends, with your pet, or however it looks to you, I believe that getting away from the day-to-day helps foster creativity, connection, healing, inspiration, and rest.

I decided to take a few days at the spur of the moment. I had a credit at the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park to use by the end of their slow season. I was just itching for some time away, and the weather and driving conditions were as good as it would get in a mountain town in February. I said YES to my intuition and went. The time away was reviving. I struggle at times, as a single woman working on my own terms living with just my dog (not “just” my dog, but Rene the Grey), to justify “getting away” because I don’t have all the other life qualities that might make getting away that much more special-a spouse and kids, a M-F 8-5 job, etc. And then I remind myself that I am living my own life and not the lives of other people and I get myself in check.

However, I do suffer from (non-clinical) seasonal affective disorder-meaning, I have diagnosed myself that I am just in a crummy mood during the months of January and February. I don’t ski or snowboard so I don’t have that enjoyment outdoors in the winter, so beyond the daily walk in many layers I don’t do a whole lot in nature in the winter time.

I won’t go into all the details of my time away-I won’t go into detail about feeling the most “me” than I have felt in a while, or how I balanced work, play and rest, or how I managed to run one morning, finally, run again without wanting to give up-But the one thing I want to write about is the night sky.

I fell in love with the night sky only just a few years ago. When I was living in Montrose on 3 acres in the country, the night sky was my companion for almost 2 years. I would turn off the porch lights at night with a cup of tea (or glass of wine) and sit on the steps and just look up. I could see the stars, galaxies, meteors….I pictured family and friends on the other side of the slope under the same night sky. I felt interconnected to my loved ones far, and to the people I was meeting near in my new community. This year, in Estes, I excitedly waited for the night to fall. I hoped the night wouldn’t be a cloudy one. The night sky did not disappoint! The cabin I was staying in was secluded enough and there were almost no lights. I turned off the porch light and stood outside with my tea and just stared up. It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust and when they did….it was a constellation of stars. Not only crisp and clear but close, like I could reach out and touch them. I honestly saw a fabric of stars covering me and I felt safe, protected, loved, and totally and completely like myself. I became one with the sky and with it I knew…I AM EXACTLY WHERE I AM...WHERE I NEED TO BE. I AM IN THE RIGHT PLACE, AT THE RIGHT TIME. I couldn’t do justice of the night sky in a picture. So, I want to share with you some inspiring quotes that I hope will bring the inspiration of the night sky forward!

“Before we invented civilization our ancestors lived mainly in the open out under the sky. Before we devised artificial lights and atmospheric pollution and modern forms of nocturnal entertainment we watched the stars. There were practical calendar reasons of course but there was more to it than that. Even today the most jaded city dweller can be unexpectedly moved upon encountering a clear night sky studded with thousands of twinkling stars. When it happens to me after all these years it still takes my breath away.” - Carl Sagan-Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space 

“He was there alone with himself, collected, tranquil, adoring, comparing the serenity of his heart with the serenity of the skies, moved in the darkness by the visible splendors of the constellations, and the invisible splendor of God, opening his soul to the thoughts which fall from the Unknown. In such moments, offering up his heart at the hour when the flowers of night inhale their perfume, lighted like a lamp in the center of the starry night, expanding his soul in ecstasy in the midst of the universal radiance of creation, he could not himself perhaps have told what was passing in his own mind; he felt something depart from him, and something descend upon him, mysterious interchanges of the depths of the soul with the depths of the universe.”- Victor Hugo-Les Misérables

Valentine's Day

I used to say Valentine's Day was just another Hallmark holiday. I used to think it was meant for just lovers, or family members, maybe close friends…

But lately, my thoughts about Valentine's Day have changed. It is about remembering how love can move mountains; that even a smile and warm hello to a stranger can change the course of his/her day; that a knowing touch and listening ear can ease a tense situation; that loving rather than judging, fearing, loathing, or despising is better for our overall health and provides us with self-love. 

I came across three poems I want to share on this Valentine's Day that represent love. I hope you find them inspiring and that you are moved to share them with others, and walk in your days with a loving heart.

This first one I came upon online and I really like the message 

of loving all the little and hidden parts of someone

These last two are by my favorite poet Mary Oliver

Limitation as a Self-Care Practice

I came across the A Step Along the Way prayer by Archbishop Oscar Romero many years ago. It left an imprint on my heart and soul, and I have been pondering it quite a bit these days.

The prayer in its entirety can be found here but in essence Romero is saying that we as human beings have limitations. That we are the worker bees, not the "messiah's" or "master builders". In our own lives we can only do so much, that we accomplish only a fraction of what we are here to do. That we "plant the seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold a future promise.  We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities." 

I got to thinking about this prayer a lot lately considering what has been happening in the United States with a political regime change and some of the strife that is occurring around it. Lately I have finally unearthed myself from a fog that has included a sense of feeling overwhelmed. What political rallies should I attend? What senators should I write? What activist meetings should I go to? Am I doing enough? I became paralyzed by the thought that I wasn't doing enough. 

And then I remembered this prayer. And I started linking this prayer not only to understanding my own limitations but also remembering the importance of self-care and self-compassion.

Brene Brown also talks about this in her own way. In much of her work she writes about perfectionism, and I see the link between perfectionism, Archbishop Romero's prayer, and my own sense of feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed. Brown describes perfectionism in her book Daring Greatly:

• It is not the same thing as striving for excellence; it is a defensive move, so that if we look perfect we can minimize blame and judgment
• It is not self-improvement; it is about earning approval
• Perfectionism is correlated with anxiety, depression and life paralysis
• It is self-destructive and an addictive belief
• It keeps us from the practice of feeling vulnerable and having self-compassion

I will take it one step further and say perfectionism keeps us from practicing the self-care needed to refill our personal "give tanks" everyday. 

Once we start feeling that only we can be the ones to accomplish something, or change someone's mind, or make the change happen we are falling into the depths of perfectionist thinking. Once in those depths, we stop taking care of ourselves and we stop having self-compassion for our own limitations and burn ourselves out, making us no good to anyone.

So, I ask you…

• Where in your life are you feeling like you are the only one who can accomplish something? Is that really true? Are there others who can help?
• Where in your life are you letting perfectionism creep in? Is it at work? Is it in the social realm? Is it in your home life? What does it look like? What does it feel like?
• What self-care and self-compassion practices can you cultivate in order to take a little pressure off yourself? What brings you joy? What lets you forget about your worries for just a little while and really show up, be present in what you are experiencing?

For me, I know I need to set some limitations. Pick one social justice issue I am passionate about and get involved. Most importantly, continue my own self-care practices that help me really live in the present moment and not get mired in the "what if" syndrome. From there, I need to have a little faith that if we all do a little bit it will make an impact on the collective whole. And that still won't be enough, but it is a step along the way...

28 Days of Random Acts of Kindness

"I alone cannot change the world,

 but I can cast a stone across the waters 

that creates many ripples." -Mother Teresa

I am an Aquarius-born on February 11th- and last year was my 40th birthday. I had a party and asked everyone who came to write on a piece of paper one act of kindness I could do every day, rather than bring a gift. People brought so many easy and cute ideas and no two were the same. These are just a sampling:

I got to thinking about what to write about this week. So much is happening in the United States and globally, and much of it isn't what elevates us as humanity. Bans on refugees coming to the U.S., shootings at a mosque in Quebec, and mosques in Texas burning to the ground (cause yet to be determined, but still). Even our Facebook feeds aren't elevating us, and are causing us so much stress but we can't seem to unplug for fear of missing out on something big. 

I decided what we need right now is a little bit of kindness, so why not set up a 28 Random Acts of Kindness Challenge, during my birthday month? Starting today, February 1st, and continuing to the end of the month, do one small thing for someone else that is kind. Maybe you do it outright, or "behind the scenes" where no one knows; maybe you write about it on your own blog or Facebook page, or quietly in your own journal. If everyone did one act of kindness a day, imagine how elevated our communities may become so that love, not fear, drives us to be the species we are really meant to be: Abundant, community oriented, compassionate, kind, sustainable…

If you aren't sure where to begin, use the above ideas as a starting point. Or, visit this website here that lists ideas for the next 28 days:

Random Acts of Kindness

The website lists these ideas that are easy to do, don't cost money and could make a person's day…and then that person may make someone else's day…and so on…so see? A little bit of kindness can make a huge ripple effect!

• Give free hugs
• Let people over on the freeway
• See if your neighbor has enough (running to the store? See if your neighbor needs you to pick up something!)
• Hold the door for someone
• Cheer on someone who is starting something new (a diet, a new job, etc) with a supportive text, email or card in the mail
• Smile and say hello to people you don't know

And if you are feeling burned out by the state of the world or even the state of your Facebook feed, giving to others is a great way to replenish your spirit!